*monkey see, monkey do

Kinky Questions - NO PROMISES, but try me

1:  Kitchen Counter, Couch, or on top of the dryer?

2:  Your last sexual encounter: Good or Bad and why:

3:  A fictional person that you think would be good in bed:

4:  Something that never fails to make you horny:

5:  Where is one place you would never have sex:

6:  The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when ______________

7:  Weirdest thing that ever made you horny:

8:  What is the best way to sexually bind someone: Handcuffs, Rope, or Other [if other please explain]:

9:  What is the fastest way to make you horny:

10:  Top or bottom?

11:  We were about to ____________ but then ______________ [example: we were about to have sex but then his mom walked in]

12:  Is one orgasm enough? Are multiple orgasms necessary?

13:  Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:

14:  Weirdest nickname a significant other has ever called you:

15:  Two things you like [or dislike] about oral sex:

16:  Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:

17:  Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]

18:  Is it ever okay to not use a condom:

19:  Who was the sexiest teacher you ever had?

20:  A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:

21:  How big is too big:

22:  One sexual thing you would never do:

23:  Biggest turn on:

24:  Three spots that drive you insane:

25:  Worst possible time to get horny:

26:  Do you like it when your sexual partner moans:

27:  Worst sexual idea you ever had:

28:  How much fapping is too much fapping:

29:  Best sexual complement you ever got:

30:  Bald, landing strip, Jumanji:

31:  Is it good sex if you don’t nut:

32:  Fill in the blank: "If they ____________, we are fuckin"

33:  What your favorite part of your body:

34:  Favorite foreplay activities:

35:  Love (>,<, or =) Sex For those of us who don’t remember our math thats “greater than, less than, or equal to]

36:  What do you wear to bed?

37:  When was the first time you masturbated:

38:  Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?

39:  Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?

40:  Have/would you ever have sex outside?

41:  Have/would you ever had a threesome?

42:  What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?

43:  Have/would you ever masturbate at work/school?

44:  Have/would you ever have sex on a plane?

45:  What is one song you’d like to have sex to?

46:  What is something nonsexual that makes you horny?

47:  Most attractive celebrity?

48:  Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?

49:  If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be right now?

50:  Has anyone ever posted nude pictures of you online?

51:  What is one thing that NEVER makes you horny?

52:  Do you have stretch marks? (How do you feel about them? Has anyone ever had a problem with them?)

53:  Do you like giving head? (why/why not)

54:  How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?

55:  How would you feel about taking someones virginity?

56:  Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?

57:  Is there anything you do on Tumblr that you would not like your significant other to see?

58:  Do you own any sex toys? (what is it? (how long have you had it?)

59:  Would you give your significant other unrestricted access to your Tumblr for a day?

60:  Would you be offended if your significant other suggested you get plastic surgery?

61:  Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?

62:  Do you watch porn?

63:  How small is too small?

64:  Have you ever been called a freak? Why?

65:  Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything?

66:  Would you switch phones with your significant other for a day?

67:  Do you feel comfortable going "commando"?

68:  Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn't shaved their pubic hair?

69:  If you could give yourself head, would you?

70:  Booty or Boobs?

71:  If you had a penis/vagina, what would you name it?

72:  Have you ever been on an official date?

73:  Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)

74:  If you were a stripper, what would your name be?

75:  Have you ever had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?)

76:  How would you react if you found out your parents had sex in your bed?

77:  What was your reaction the first time you saw a penis/vagina

78:  If you had a penis/vagina for a day, what are five things you would do?


• Accidentally close a tab? Ctrl+Shift+T reopens it.
• Bananas release dopamine, eat them when you’re sad.
• CTRL+SHIFT+ESC is the one handed version of CTRL+ALT+DEL
• Don’t brush your teeth hard, it makes them sensitive and removes enamel.
• Don’t like spiders? Put citronella oil on your walls and they will not go there.
• Drink one glass of water for every alcoholic drink you have, you’ll get drunk without getting a hangover.
• Get clear ice cubes by boiling water before freezing it
• Heal paper cuts and immediately stop the pain with chapstick.
• If you accidentally write on your dry erase board with a permanent marker, scribble over it with a dry eraser marker to remove it.
• If your shoes smell, put them in the freezer overnight, it will kill the bacteria. 
• Make bug bites stop itching with a banana peel.
• Make a paper longer with 12-point text, but 14-point periods and commas.
• Need to get around a blocked website at work? Try replacing the http:// with https://
• Never send your resume as a word file (unless asked) Instead, print it to a pdf file, it’s much cleaner and professional looking.
• Pick a flavor of gum you don’t normally chew, and chew it while studying during a test.
• Place a piece of bread in a container with your homemade cookies and  they will stay soft.
• Put a dry towel into a dryer with wet clothes, they will dry faster.
• Put toothpaste on a pimple and it will dry out.
• Practise fake smiling in the mirror every day before going to work/school, you’ll genuinely start to feel happier.
• Rub canola/olive oil on knives before cutting onions, you won’t cry, alternatively chew gum and you won’t either.
• Short on time with a wrinkled dress shirt? Hang it up in the bathroom to steam it flat.
• The night before, place things you don’t want to forget the next morning on top of your shoes.
• Use hydrogen peroxide to remove blood stains from clothing.
• When cleaning windows use newspapers or coffee filters instead of paper towels, they will not leave streaks.
• When microwaving bread products/pizza put a glass of water in with it, it will keep your bread for going spongy.
• When you move into a new place you’re renting, take pictures of any and all damage, then post them on facebook (privately if preferred) so you can use the reference date as proof you didn’t do it.
• When searching plane tickets online delete your cookies prior, prices go up when you visit a site multiple times. <sma

(via spookyy)

Source thespacegoat

Reblogged from The Space Goat